It’s okay to change your mind about what you want to do with your life.
Ever since I was young it was instilled in me to follow a standard profession; doctor, lawyer, engineer. Something safe and stable. My parents were both doctors and I never really thought of being anything else so I went to college and enrolled in all the pre-med classes. Being a doctor was a way to guarantee an upper middle-class lifestyle-seemed like a good option. Somewhere around my junior year I had an absolute breakdown. I realized I didn’t even like what I was studying I was just going through the motions. But being a doctor was so engrained into my identity I didn’t know how to do anything else. Even worse my pride was so high I didn’t want people to think I was lazy or couldn’t cut it.
Eventually when my existential dread was at it’s highest point I had an honest conversation with my parents and thought about my options. Telling them was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. They’ve given me everything in life and I’ve failed them. Of course they just wanted me to be happy and find a career I liked.
If I don’t do medicine than what do I do? It seemed as though everyone around me new what they wanted to do and was on a mission to accomplish that. I was graduating in a year with a science degree and had genuinely no direction besides the fact that I knew I didn’t want to go to med school. What was wrong with me? Do I just have no interests? Am I a passionless dud? Did I peak in highschool? These are the constant thoughts that haunted my mind.
Eventually I ended up deciding on pursuing a career in business. What that meant, to be honest I wasn’t perfectly sure. But it was a field with a lot of options and growth opportunities. After coming to this decision I felt extreme relief. Even if it wasn’t a perfect decision it was a decision and some sort of direction or goal to work towards to.
The point is that it’s okay to change your mind. I don’t look at my undergrad experience as a waste of time because I learned tons of transferable skills through my degree that I could apply to a variety of careers. Following your gut is so important and a much better way to live than living with regret.
I’ve been working in the marketing field for around a year and a half and I found I like it. Is what I’m doing right now my absolute passion? Probably not. But it feels like a step in the right direction.
And the next thing that felt like a step in the right direction was starting this blog. So here I am exposing my inner truths hoping someone out there can find some solidarity in my journey and I gotta say….this….this just may be my passion.
But if it’s not, then that’s okay to. We’re all just out here trying to figure out life.
Kris Kronicles 